Hi guys! <3
I felt like writing my thoughts down and reflect on life today so here we go! I’ve come to realize a lot that my happiness depends on only me and is a total inside job that I have to work on. I really want to feel more at peace with myself and good about myself and about my life and also become a better version of myself every day. Some days I do good and other days I totally fail at it; but the important thing is I’m still trying and doing what I can and I dont give up. And I should give myself credit for that. I’m used to do a lot on a daily basis and in the weekends. I keep myself going by being productive and have a bunch of plans most of the time and a long list of to-dos. Currently I’ve taken a step back with all my to-dos and goals and plans to really listen to myself. I thought the most important thing is to just keep on going no matter what and create content and create memories. But lately I’ve come to realize that I have to pause, take care of my health and really listen to myself and give myself a break. I’ve read/studied a little about it and I think you call it inner work and shadow work. I’m not sure if those two terms are 100 % the same at all, but I do feel like lately I’m spending a lot of time doing some inner work and shadow work. So I’m not 100 % aware of the difference of the terms but the idea is to work on myself spiritually and also psychologically as well. You know get to know myself better and understand myself better, like why I’ve become who I’ve become and why I feel certain ways in certain situations for example. They say that you can live a more fulfilling life by doing shadow work and I also read somewhere that it is among others also an emotional freedom. I have to dig deeper into these terms and how to work on it but my focus has been a lot on those kinda things.
So I wake up at 6 and have a one and a half hour morning routine, then I go to work, get home and I just spend time with myself cleaning, reading, writing and reflecting. Currently I’m actually pretty exhausted just after work so I dont have much energy left after but when I have that is what I do. Lately since I’m working on myself and reflecting a lot I feel exhausted fast. It takes a lot of work and energy..
Beside work, as mentioned, I wake up, meditate, listen to affirmations, listen to podcasts, read and write in my journal. So yeah this is my life right now and I feel good about it even though it can be tough and exhausting at times. I’m truly grateful for where I am in life and who I’ve become so far but I wanna do better and become better and I wanna feel more fulfilled and at peace and I wanna feel more pure happiness within myself. Now my life in pictures: