So, I’m not married… yet… :P But… we are planning a wedding, and I’ve been doing some research because, obviously, I realized early in the process that I know nothing.
Most of my friends are married, which is actually a pro for me because they all have a bunch of advice, ideas, and guidance that can help me a lot! So, for my first wedding-related post, I thought I would collect my friends’ tips, tricks, and lessons learned from their weddings that I can take with me when planning mine :)
Wedding preparation can be stressful. I know that because I’ve seen it, but I want to try to make the process as fun as I can. I know the basics: outfit, makeup, venue, guest list, food, music, photography, and decor. But it sounds like there are details in all categories that I don’t know about. Oh, by the way, we are talking about a traditional Hindu wedding and a registration party.
Too many opinions
I’m a people pleaser, and everyone’s opinion matters to me. This makes decision-making so hard because it’s not realistic to satisfy every single person. A dress I like might not be the one everyone likes, same goes for hair, makeup, or shoes. It’s a dilemma! So, my friends have told me to trust my gut, listen to what I personally want, and, of course, my boyfriend, because that’s the only thing that really matters.
Prioritize each other
The wedding itself gives the couple a chance to deepen their understanding of each other, create boundaries, and respect each other’s wishes. It’s during this time that we learn about each other’s values and witness various aspects of each other’s personalities. It’s crucial to remain united and work together as a team, rather than working against each other.
Expect the unexpected
This one is very interesting and I love it:
Having dreamt about weddings for the longest time, expectations can often become too big and unrealistic. Movies, TV series, and not to mention social media portray weddings as these fancy fairytales. However, it’s possible to have a fairytale wedding if you just let go of unrealistic expectations and get caught in every single detail. After all, you can’t control everything.
Expect the unexpected: disagreements, differing opinions, and unforeseen challenges. Practice letting go of minor issues; think of it as ‘choosing your battles.’ Not every detail needs to be a discussion and at the same time every discussion doesn’t need to be negative. Remember it is also OK to disagree and discuss things, but the important part is to really listen and understand each other. Focus on what truly matters and let go of the rest.
One of my friends wisely said, ‘Remember, it’s just one day out of the rest of your life together.’ It’s such an important reminder, and I truly appreciate her for saying that!
She then added that the most important aspect is celebrating this beautiful occasion with the people we love. The rest is just details.
A wedding is a one-day event. It’s important to spend your money wisely. Is it truly worth spending a significant amount of money on just one day? Think about how that money could be spend to travel and create lasting memories, or to invest in an apartment or house. Ultimately, it’s about prioritizing what’s most meaningful to you and your partner in the long term. At the same time of course how often do you get married? So there need to be some sort of a balance between spending and saving.
Be critical about the guest list
Inviting too many people to the wedding whom you don’t have a close bond with can make you feel disconnected from your own wedding. Make sure that you invite those who truly matter to you and whom you genuinely want to spend time with.
Remember to have breaks in the timeline for the wedding
When it comes to weddings, many people have opinions: both family and friends, and it can be exhausting. On your wedding day, you’re expected to be social, so if you don’t get small breaks to just breathe, it can all feel overwhelming. Make sure to take breaks where you can get some fresh air and clear your mind, allowing you to fully enjoy your special day.
Make a budget
I’ve been advised to have a budget plan in place for the wedding and then set aside some extra funds as well, because there are always unexpected expenses.
During this wedding planning process, I’ve realized something important. My partner and I thought we both knew what we wanted and assumed we had similar preferences. However, it’s crucial to ask each other: ‘What would you like for food, music, or anything else?’ Because, as it turns out, we actually have different opinions on a few things. A funny example is: my boyfriend wants Tamil food, while I would love to have junk food like burgers and pizza. Fortunately, we both agree that we’re not big fans of fine dining, so that’s a relief! However, we may need to compromise depending on the venue’s restrictions. It’s essential to be open about our preferences, even if they differ, and consider what our guests will enjoy as well. Furthermore, it’s crucial not to simply assume that we know each other’s wishes and opinions. It’s important to ask and communicate openly to ensure that we’re on the same page.