Yesterday, Arthu, Thannu and I went to the beach to see the sunset and it was such a good day. It felt good to be social again and do something. I haven’t been that social lately and I have had to cancel a lot of plans the last couple of months or more (you know COVID and a few other stuff..).
Yesterday was amazing: The long drive, the sunset, the sound of the ocean, the long conversations and fries.. like life cannot get any better than this. I feel grateful and blessed. I’ve missed this…
After having such a wonderful day I felt like blogging today after waking up. I took a break for a few weeks from blog, youtube and also like 10 days or something off of Instagram (like being active and posting). I was actually trying to figure out if I really want to do blogging, youtube and be part of the whole social media Instagram thing or if I should just you know close everything and just not do it anymore. I didn’t feel like this makes me happy anymore and also I realized that I am using blog, youtube and instagram as a distraction from how I’m actually feeling, and in the long run that is not healthy… So I just took a step back to really understand what I want to do and what makes me happy and also why I’m doing this. I only wanna do things that makes me happy and gives me fulfillment. And I’m still trying to figure this out, but whenever I really do feel like sharing something like today then I will of course just share. I think I still want to blog, cause it makes me happy and it’s my way of collecting memories and sharing life experiences. I’m not really sure about youtube. I feel like it’s more stressful than it actually makes me happy now but whenever I feel like creating and uploading a video at times I will do it. I just dont want to push myself to upload videos (every week) and blogposts (3-4 times a week) or instaposts (2-3 posts every day) because I want to be sure that the views wont decrease or that I need more followers because all other big influencers have a big amount of following. I dont want to focus on the numbers and I just want to do this whenever I feel like it and whenever I wanna share something and whenever I feel like creating something. So if there is a day where I feel like posting a bunch of instaposts I’ll do that but if there are days where I feel like I dont feel like posting anything then I wont. I dont want to care about what others think about how much I post either and feel guilty and I dont want to feel like I have to post a lot to get a lot of engagement and followers (It’s both that makes me not just enjoy posting).
This is also a conscious choice because there are other things in life I also want to prioritize as my job for example. I wanna do good at my job and make an effort. And beside my job I am focusing on a healthier lifestyle and some healing and shadow work and it takes a lot of my time and energy. Right now my job and my health is my first priority so I guess that is also a reason why I think I need to step back a little. But it’s not like a dramatic choice where I’m just gone for good ish xD No no nooo! xD I will still update and post and create whenever I feel like I have the time and energy. I just dont want blog, youtube and instagram to be something “I should do..” because of numbers or engangement but more “I feel like” and “I really want to” because it makes me happy <3 I hope this makes sense.
I’m trying to be more mindfull nowadays which means I will try to do things because it makes me feel happy and fulfilled and I want to do things just for me. I dont wanna post and share to get validation but more to inspire and motivate myself and others. I’m not really sure if all this make sense to you guys but I hope :P Take Care! <3