As you guys know, I just got back to work after my maternity leave, so finding balance as a working mom is the most challenging task right now.
Usually, I’m the type of person who gives my all to work; I get energized by challenging tasks, love taking the lead, and get a bit stubborn about finishing everything as soon as possible within deadline. That also means I tend to have long workdays. But after having a baby, I don’t want to work such long hours in the same way, because I want to spend time with him. I don’t want to come home only for it to be his bedtime. I still love my job and will give it my all, but without letting it affect my time with our little guy.
The balance is tricky when I genuinely enjoy my work and love my baby more than anything. One thing’s for sure though; these phases with my baby are temporary. One day, he’ll be 18 and move out or something, you know what I mean? xD
So I want to make sure I’m truly present in his life and that I give him the best possible childhood filled with love, affection, and beautiful memories. My priorities have definitely shifted: I still love my job and want to do well, but now I plan my days around spending time with my baby.
Right now, the best way to do so, is to wake up at 5 when he wakes up (sometimes even 4… I try to “snooze” him, which is impossible, so eventually I give up and get up xD haha). I leave for work around 7:25, so from 5 to 7 I spend time with him while getting ready and having breakfast. Then I put him down for a nap so my husband can get some more sleep since he’s the one giving him milk at night and gets less rest than I do.
So I have about two hours with my baby in the morning. I’m 100% present for 30 minutes to an hour, and the rest of the time I’m half-present while getting ready and eating breakfast. Then I head to work and try my best to leave by 3 p.m. I’ve failed a few times this week… a couple of days I got home around 5:30 and once around 4:30… but I’m working on it. Sometimes work just takes over, and I struggle to say, “Yup, the rest can wait until tomorrow.”
When I get home, I usually have about an hour with him before bedtime, but he’s already tired at that point and we need to prepare his dinner. Then he eats, and it’s time for sleep.
I’m trying my best, but yeah… I’d love to have more time with him. The weekends are going to be 100% about him now, but we also have lots of plans the next several weekends, which makes it tricky too.
I don’t feel like a bad mom because I know I’m doing my best. But I do feel like I’m not doing enough, or I just miss him and want more time together I think. So I’m still figuring it out. I’m trying to be kind to myself; it’s only been a week back at work. No one expects me to be 100% okay and happy about it already or to get my sh*t together 100 % (no one has anyways) XD
Plan for next week:
- Spend time with baby while getting ready: 5:00–7:00 a.m.
- Leave the house around 7:20–7:30 and take the train
- Arrive at Aarhus around 8:40 a.m., then walk 5–10 minutes to work
- Work on the train for one hour each way, so I can take the train home around 14:45–15:00 and be back by 16:00
- Have around 2–3 hours with my baby in the evening: one hour to play, one to prep dinner and feed him, and one for the bedtime routine
- Since my husband starts his paternity leave on Tuesday, he’ll also take over some of these tasks but I still want to do as much as I can if I have the time and energy, since I miss having more time with our baby.
- And of course, my husband needs to rest too. <3
Let’s see how it goes next week and if this plan works going forward. I’ll do a little reflection at the end of next week! Life after starting work has been looking like this:
