Well, yes; as you can read from the title: I’m pregnant! The baby has already arrived by the time you’re reading this blog post, but right now, as I’m writing this post, I’m in my first trimester; 6 weeks and 3 days, to be exact. Since it’s still very early in our pregnancy, I’m not going to publish this post just yet. But I wanted to write it now to capture my experience and how I’m feeling in this moment.
I’ve been very tired and nauseous, and I’ve also been feeling overwhelmed. I’ve always been afraid that I might struggle with pregnancy, so it also feels too good to be true. You know how when you want something really badly, you’re afraid you’ll never get it? So when I found out I was pregnant, I was scared. It felt too good to be true. I was also scared of losing the baby. It’s such a vulnerable subject, especially this early in the process.
Both my husband and I didn’t want to get too excited, because we were scared and anxious. I think that’s when I realized just how much I actually wanted a baby and that surprised me. I’ve always known I wanted kids, but I’ve tried not to put too much pressure on when it had to happen. And with my age, I’ve often gotten those subtle (and not-so-subtle) hints like, “If you want a baby, it’s time… the clock is ticking.” That has really stressed me out and caused a lot of worry. The reason to have children shouldn’t be because the clock is ticking. It should be because we genuinely want to build a family. I don’t think we’ll ever feel 100% ready for kids, because honestly, you can’t know what to expect until you’re holding your child in your arms. But the desire to start a family, that deeper feeling, should be there.
So far, it has been a mixed experience. First of all, I’m incredibly grateful and feel so blessed that we’re able to get pregnant. That in itself is a beautiful thing. But I’ve also been very anxious and nervous, especially since it’s still such an early stage.
I’m trying to stay as positive as I can, but it’s hard when your body starts reacting in ways it’s not supposed to (we’ll talk more about this part in the next blog post <3). I keep reminding myself to take it one day at a time and that if it’s meant to be, it will be. I had no idea it would be this tough, to be honest. The fact that it’s out of my control, and that nothing is 100% certain, is scary. But that’s life, I guess and I have to accept that, sooner or later.
With all that said… I’m truly grateful and excited, and I really hope everything is going to be okay. I’ll keep you guys updated. <3
15/09/2024 <3
I took some pictures in December that I wanted to share with you for this blogpost:
